i have a long way to go.

I'm not very good and staying motivated. I try but to be honest it doesn't work for me. I can make myself lists of things to do, and only a few things on it will actually get done. Sometimes I can be stone cold, or so happy people think I'm on crack. I go through times of depression and anxiety or I'll be so content with life people will ask me, "How are you so chill?"
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm human. That's been something that's been really hard for me to accept. I want to be a certain way or atleast in the past I have. I've wanted to be this amazing straight A student with amazing organizing skills who's a neat freak and who has a billion friends. That's just something I have to work on everyday.
I have my flaws. In fact, I have so many that some people may sterotype me for a bad person. Yes, I have lied. Yes, I have done things I'm not proud of. Yes, I have not treated my family how I should have. Yes, I have been hurt and hurt others. The amazing thing about those things are that I'm not the only one who does those things. Because I may do those things, it doesn't mean I'm a bad person nor does it make it right for me to do those things. But I'm human. I've finally come to accept that.
I'm screwed up. But who else isn't. No one's perfect. I finally am starting to heal, to grow, and to feel again. I realize I have a long way to go. So, here's to the journey.