I don't remember a time in my life in which everything in life was going right. I'm not saying that I'm not having challenges or hard times but, everything works out and works out for the better! I never know what life is going to throw in mine or my family's life but I really don't worry about it because of the fact that I have the gospel of my Savior, Jesus Christ in my life.
I have always been a member all my life but honestly that doesn't mean I've
been a member. That all changed within the last couple of years. More recently though, my life has been dramatically changed for the better.
May 30, 2011, I woke up and stared at my ceiling in my apartment and felt like a ton of bricks were on my chest. I knew that something wasn't right. I had been feeling like something wasn't right for a bit but, I think I kept filing it in my filing cabinents in the back of my head as I often use to do. I got up and went through my morning activity, go eat and sit on the couch. Nothing exciting going on in the day. I found myself lost in my thoughts and it hit me. What I was doing with my life, was not going to get me anywhere. I knew I needed to change and that it was not going to happen in Thatcher, Arizona where I was living. So I called my mom, and 6 hours later I was home with my family. Probably the best impulsive decision I've made in a really long time.
The summer went by so slowly. I was hired in June to be an instructional aide for a 12 year old girl who has down syndrome. Sadly, I had to wait until August to start, so that caused things to go by really slow. My family was having a hard summer. Our life had been turned up side down it felt like. My siblings were so different. My mom was pretty sick. Dad was working 10-14 hours day and making hardly anything. Dylan was in Utah and we had no idea what really was going on with him. But, because of all these things it stirred my desire to become a true member of the church. I knew that I needed to start praying everyday morning and night, not just when I needed something. I knew that my scriptures had to become a priority. Most of all, I knew that I needed to stop trying to put on appearances and live what I was trying to appear to be.
This was the best summer I have ever had. I finally felt the spirit again. I was closer to my family especially to my mom than ever before and I was making progress. Work started and man do I have my work cut out for me everyday. I am taking a sign language class in which my wonderful parents paid for. It's been a blast learning this language! It's a struggle for me not to talk in the class of course.
I started attending Institute and that's where I met Brenton. Brenton had only been home from his 2 year mission to Finland for about 2 weeks the first time I met him. I was immediately attracted to him but he wasnt sitting anywhere really close to me so that I was able to talk to him. Luckily for me though, he was within eye sight so I was able to glance at him a lot! After Institute, there are really adorable couples that make meals so that they can get all the YSA's to linger longer and interact with each other. Brenton walked by and I noticed he wasn't going to stay so I called out to him and told him to grab some food. He admitted that he was having a hard time adjusting back to American food. That was our first interaction with each other and I had no idea why he had an affect on me already, but he did. The next week, I got out of my sign language class a little late and I decided to go home because Dylan came home from Utah. I decided to go to Institue even though I was going to be a half hour late. How glad I am that I did! When I arrived, I peeked through the window to see where a seat was so that I could get in there without interrupting to much. I noticed that there was a seat next to Brenton but I decided against going and sitting by him. I did sit in a seat where I had a good view of him! :) Later in the class, I made some comment and I noticed out of the corner of my eye was that Brenton had completely turned aroudn to look at me. I looked towards him and made eye contact and just knew that I needed to get to know him.
After class, I went into the gym for the linger longer and was chatting with some friends when I heard a voice ask me if the seat next to me was taken. I looked over to make sure the voice belonged to who I thought it did. It was Brenton with his bright smile. I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat or two but I quickly recovered and told him that he was more than welcome to sit next to me. We chatted and to me it felt like I had known him for a while when in reality I barely knew this kid. He left and I made the brave move to add him on facebook. He accepted (thankfully!). So the next step was to try and get to hang out with him. I went over in my mind if I was being too forward by just writing him on facebook and being like oh we should hang out or if I should just wait until next Institute to see him or whatever! I finally decided on just writing him on facebook and I simply said,"hey i'm glad we were able to talk the other night, we should hang out sometime." Luckily, he replied by agreeing and giving me his number and the rest is history! I wrote him on a Friday and we went out to lunch that next Wednesday. I've seen him everyday since! I think my favorite activity with him so far was when we went on a temple date. It was the first time I had been in several years, and I don't think I could have gone with someone more perfect. Brenton is so supportive in everything. We went and did baptisms for the dead and Brenton was able to confirm and baptize me. I loved walking out of there hand and hand with him knowing that it was an activity where not only we were helping others but, we were doing something that was going to better ourselves and our relationship.
I have finally slowed myself down and realized how blessed I truly am. There are so many things that I have been blessed with but I think the best thing that I've been blessed with are the people in my life. So whenever I hear Blake Shelton's song God Gave Me You, I tend to think about all the different people who have been placed in my life. (If you have never heard the song you need to listen to it.)
So truly,
I am loving life no matter what.
